Behaviour management

Behaviour management

by: Tallulah - 10-02-10 19:23

I am hoping for some advice - I have two boys in our community preschool aged four who have behaviour issues. If we correct them for fighting or hitting or other behaviour issues they don't pay any attention to the staff. If we ask them to help at tidy up time they refuse and if we ask them to go to the time out chair e.g  for hitting they refuse. I know about positive reinforcement but we can't ignore this behaviour when it affects the other children e.g. hitting, throwing things, grabbing toys other children are playing with. I just want to ask how you approach a situation where a child just straight out refuses to listen to the adult or co-operate. We allow the children to follow their interests and plenty of free play so it isn't that they are too restricted.  I want to avoid rewarding this behaviour by spending too much time with them when they misbehave. I had to lift one of them away from another child today as he was trying to pull their chair out from under them and I don't want to get into having to be physical this way.  I would like a simple approach that is quick and effective. One of the boys mother's asks us everyday if he was good but when we were honest she threatened to take him out of the service and a staff member observed her hitting him in the car park when we told her he had misbehaved so we don't feel we can tell her anymore.

by: some badgers

Have you tried asking your Early Years Development Support Teacher to come in and observe and give advice?

by: kaz (the first one!)

We have a little boy who is not so little for his age and his play has been quite inappropriate - wrestling children to the ground and bear hugging them until they turn blue! It wasn't long before parents started to complain that their children were complaining so we have brought all the children on board with behaviour management and they are helping to teach this boy how to behave. When he gets too physical, they tell him no and tell an adult who will re-enforce this. The children have been working together to help this child understand that he can't play if he's too rough - they tell him to be gentle, to help tidy up and to sit still during carpet time. For us the peer pressure seems to be working as the child takes no notice of adults.

by: suem

Hi I would recommend you use a 1 ,2 , 3 approach tell the child what you would like them to do, or stop doing and say you will give them until you count to three to do it/or stop doing it - count slowly to enable the child to have some take up time and time to think about what you have said to them. Make sure you tell them that if they havent done it by the count of three then they will have to sit on a chair for two minutes (make sure the consequence is consistent - so if you decide on 2 minutes then make sure this is always used - dont change the times around). If by the count of three they have not done it then take them by the hand and lead them to the chair to sit on for the two minutes - and egg timer is good to use because the child can focus on it and will no when it is ready to get up. Then explain to the child why they lost the time. When tidying up praise and give rewards to the children who are doing the tidying up i.e in the form of stickers and role model tidying up with the children so they no what is expected. Hope these ideas help.

by: Tallulah

Thanks I will try the one two three idea and the peer support - if i try to lead him to time out he throws himself onto the floor and kicks. I think I forgot to mention that he is a four year old.

by: Tish501

We have one like that....but with sound effects....ow,ow ow when not even touched....

by: blackberry jam

whilst I fully appreciate the moral support a forum like this can provide, I am very concerned to see people asking for and taking advice on specific things like the child behavior issues in this thread. 

How can nursery professionals be seen as that - professional - if they base their practice in dealing with situations, such as children having behavioral difficulties, on advice they seek and receive from other forum users.  They have no idea of that other user's experience, qualifications, understanding of the situation.  We all have support/link teachers attached to our setting, whose role it is to support us in all areas of our practice.  These, and other professionals she/he can put us into contact with should be the ones we seek advice on specifics from, if that support cannot be met from our senior and management staff in-house.

by: blackberry jam

Blackberry Jam - Exactly !

Saffron -  when you complete your SEF, under the list of Professionals that you access to support your practice, you can include anonymous Nursery World forum users.

 Moral support is one thing, professional advice specific to a situation is another.

Parents as well as students, teachers and Nursery staff use this forum, they must think that we are a right bunch of clueless muppets.

by: some badgers

The above post was from me not Blackberry Jam.

by: Tallulah

Yes but I am working in Ireland where we are decades behind you guys - this is the first year we have had any guidelines from the government about what type of learning and development experiences the children should be having and its just a document that we have been sent on a cd rom - we are working without much guidance over here and having this forum where I can learn from people working in a country where the early years is a much more developed industry is a godsend. We don't have all these professional supports you speak of. 

by: suem

I understand your views on discussing such matters on here, but it is only support and guidance that is being offered and I am sure that many students, parents and other staff would agree that we learn from each other. This I believe is one of the great assets of this forum as we can all have an input and offer our support to others. Many of us on here do have a wealth of experience and knowledge in specific areas and do want to support other colleagues and yes I have got over fifteen years working with children with behaviour issues

by: Tallulah

I take the points above and agree that we should consider what we discuss on here but I also agree with suem. I recently had an unqualified assistant who had no experience of working with children who had great insight into the childrens behaviour in a way that can't be taught and no qualifications can give. She was a mother who had raised two children of her own.

by: kaz (the first one!)

I disagree with blackberry jam and some badgers - it's called networking and highly encouraged in our area.

I used a lot of forum information in all of my qualifications to prove that I seek and give support to other professionals.  Yes there are EY advisors but they usually have bigger issues to deal with than the issues we discuss on here.

I personally get some great ideas or get reminded of ways to deal with issues from sites like these.

by: purepurple

I have a question from blackberry jam and some badgers.

How did you gain your knowledge?

Where you born with it all? Is it all from experience?

Or did you learn from other people, through watching how they worked and through discussions and advice from more experienced and wiser early years professionals?

I know that I learnt a lot from other people as well as from experience.

Whereas, in the past, I might have only been able to ask the people i work with, now we can ask our questions through the wonderful meduim of the internet.

Advise and support is valid, whatever the source.

The key is separating out the good advice from the bad.

by: Karine

Sounds as if these two boys need to play outside more to let off steam and energy -

by: purepurple

'a question for' not 'from'

by: Clarelou

We have had similar experiences in my setting with boys and have found that it really does help to get them outside and let them run around and play and use up some energy - this has really helped and made a noticeable difference to the behaviours.  You may also find it useful to read a publication by DfES called "Confident and Capable, supporting boys achievements in the early years".  This will guide you as to how best to equip yourselves with strategies to recognise the difference in what boys need to thrive in a setting and how to set them up to achieve and be in a position to give them a bit of positivity, which usually improves things.  As for the parents, maybe they need a bit of support.  Could you have a chat with Mum and tell her that you've been having a few problems.  After what you've described, she's not going to be completely surprised and we always find that working in an honest partnership, even if it's a bit difficult at first, always is best.  I am sure you will also feel a real sense of achievement having dealt with it effectively.  We had a little book that went backwards and forwards between us and home noting how things were going, often easier to write down than say what had gone on.  You can almost guarantee that others will have noted these unwanted behaviours and you being in control and acknowledging it and attempting to do something about it is great .  Don't forget to look after yourselves and recognise that there may be times when you or your colleagues feel you just need to walk away and let someone else deal with it.  Good luck!

by: Clarelou

We have had similar experiences in my setting with boys and have found that it really does help to get them outside and let them run around and play and use up some energy - this has really helped and made a noticeable difference to the behaviours.  You may also find it useful to read a publication by DfES called "Confident and Capable, supporting boys achievements in the early years".  This will guide you as to how best to equip yourselves with strategies to recognise the difference in what boys need to thrive in a setting and how to set them up to achieve and be in a position to give them a bit of positivity, which usually improves things.  As for the parents, maybe they need a bit of support.  Could you have a chat with Mum and tell her that you've been having a few problems.  After what you've described, she's not going to be completely surprised and we always find that working in an honest partnership, even if it's a bit difficult at first, always is best.  I am sure you will also feel a real sense of achievement having dealt with it effectively.  We had a little book that went backwards and forwards between us and home noting how things were going, often easier to write down than say what had gone on.  You can almost guarantee that others will have noted these unwanted behaviours and you being in control and acknowledging it and attempting to do something about it is great .  Don't forget to look after yourselves and recognise that there may be times when you or your colleagues feel you just need to walk away and let someone else deal with it.  Good luck!