Childcare practises of other cultures being illegal and morally wrong in the UK?

Childcare practises of other cultures being illegal and morally wrong in the UK?

by: whmon - 30-10-12 22:28

I posted this topic on another forum. My background is that I am an anthropologist with a level 8 who happens to own a nursery. This was originally posted on an anthropology forum with the expected result that I was agreed with entirely. Therefore, it would be interesting for me to hear comments from a nursery forum, where I imagine I may well hear opposing views (which interests me.)

I recently attented 'Responsible Person' training. At the event, we were asked to rate various real life scenarios on a 'red, amber, green' scale.

One such scenario entailed that of a young mum who was referred to Social Services because she had commented in conversation with her baby's nursery keyworker that she lulled her baby off to sleep by stroking it's genitals, and that was what everybody in her country did to get babies to go to sleep.

I rated this as 'light amber' because the mum was not aware that this practise is considered 'red' in the UK. All that was needed, in my opinion, was a word in the ear with the mum. Every other person in the room rated this as red.

When I offered my viewpoint to the trainer she wouldn't listen and said 'No! this is 'red'. I tried to explain that I knew of a girl who had married an Iranian man, went to live in Iran, had a child, and not long after was thrown in jail. Her crime was allowing her toddler to pet a stray puppy in the street. She hadn't known that this practise is 'red' in Iran. My point was that if she had know it was 'red' the incident would never have occured.

The trainer however, wouldn't have it. Her words were 'No! do not pass go, do not collect £200, go straight to jail.

I repeated this conversation to a good friend who has a major position in a children's rights charity. She told me that in her caseload was a young mum who's newborn child was being removed because mum had had the baby's ears pierced. Luckily for the young mum my friend stepped in and said that in the mum's home country, a newborn girl whose ears were not pierced was considered by society to likely be a neglected child. My friend (who happens to be from the same country as the young mum) has a lot of clout in her field and the child remains with mum.

This all leads me to believe that a lot of professionals working under the umbrella of childcare and safeguarding need serious training themselves. What do you think?

by: Kandy Flip

It being 'red' is not a universal truth.

It being 'red' is an interpretation, based on the cultural beliefs / behavioural understandings prevalent in our society. 

by: Maestro

Unfortunately for the UK we are not as inclusive and understanding as everyone makes out. We are very quick to assert our cultural practices and beliefs, and our own personal beliefs onto others, and exclude those who do not return the same views.

However it is a mixed bag, and very tricky in some scenarios to have a full understanding of what's going on. This is usually aggregated by those mentioned above if they have no intention on wanting to understand.

I would have rated amber.

by: kaz (the first one!)

interesting whmom, thank you.

I have a turkish child in one of my settings and we are having 'cultural 'issues on parenting. I have spent many hours talking with mum about what we see as acceptable in our country and what she sees as acceptabvle in hers. I think you are right, sometimes just talking about it, having a word, can prevent a lot of 'reds'.

Don't you just love trainers who hate to be questioned?!

by: bagpuss

Just interested to know I presume the baby who's genitals the mother stroked were a boys as I think I have heard this before, I wonder if the mother would think differently about stroking a girls genitals. My theory being she would feel that was wrong? Because apart from learning what is right and wrong from others we have an innate conciousness which isn't measureable.

When i worked in neonates one of the religions, I want to say Sikh but may be Hindu would shave their new born babies heads as part of their faith and it is a shock first time you see it, but then that is the last time they cut their hair and it grows long and strong afterwards.

I don't like seeing any babies with ears pierced so when is it acceptable, one month, two months etc?

by: Smallfry

Poor woman, if she lives in the UK she must know what our customs are?

Our society is warped with sex.

Piercing babies ears - vile.

by: bagpuss

I remembered something I had seen on TV , in one of the colder countries at some particular time of the year they go to frozen lake, cut out a circle of ice and as a family strip off and dunk themselves in the water and hold their children in the water. If I went down to the local pond in December and dunked my kids in there I would most certainly be arrested.

by: me

one of the main findings of the nspcc commission several years agop was that children were dying becuse we were allowed different thresholds for different cultures. there shoudnt be, period. We need to have a level playing field for all children. If it against the law in this country then so be it for every parent and child.  again period. laws and cultural practices acceptble in other countries are fine for those countries in ours we have develpopped them based on our thresholds and they must be kept. FGM and forced marriage a classic example. with the above example i wouuld counsel a mother away from the stroking and ultimately warn them that it is unacceptable here. earring whole non issue other than crassness and tastless. 

by: calypso

How curious. Of course abuse is abuse regardless of how it is dressed up in culture, but really? A referral to the SS good heavens. I am torn between thinking its no one else's business how she lulls her babe off to sleep and thinking it's not a good idea as the baby gets older and an open and honest chat with the mother would resolve this. She is not doing this with any sexual intent or to inflict harm or distress to the baby so why is it considered unacceptable? The world of safeguarding in this country is mired in ridiculous political correctness and fear which is demonstrated by the frustrating attitudes of social workers and Local Authorities and Lamings exasperated comments within his reports. I did my child protection training with a multi disciplinary team of consultants, paediatricians, police & heads of NSPCC & Barnardos. Now it is offered by the LA through tendered training organisations. The one I worked for refused to offer safeguarding as part of their training package as they felt they were not qualified to do this. It's a worrying sign that it is being offered in this way