6th July, Dr.Crabbere's Children Have Rights Day

6th July, Dr.Crabbere's Children Have Rights Day

by: drcrabbere - 31-03-09 14:33

Bridge the "Gap"

Individuals who believe that children do not have "Rights" are those who were not allowed to experience their civil "rights" as children.

Globally, inconsistentency exists in general communication; from the matrimonial bed to the political/church podium, people are oblivious to the effects of the deprivation that they suffered in early childhood development - which are constantly displayed in everyday life.

July 6 is Dr. Crabbere's "Children Have Rights Day"; 2009 marks the second anniversary for her personal declaration.  Join us.

Do something to make a chiild feel valued.

www.drcrabbere.com

by: Karine

Interesting subject this one.

Its great for a child to be heard and I believe a child does and should have rights.  But we now give children so much freedom and autonomy and are afraid to ensure that rules and regulations are adhered to, for example behaviour, that sometimes a child does no longer know how to behave with their peers and with adults.  At the moment we are having so many issues within our activity groups (out of school, brownies, scouts, etc) where a firm ethos of respect for all is paramount.  But the children rarely listen to the adults and often the older ones tell the adults with disdain they cant tell the them what to do and ask them what to do about it.

Is this a sign of childhood deprivation from early childhood, or poor upbringing, too much choice?

I had a strict upbringing, was bought up to respect what my elders said (and still do), which meant I have always held down a job, stood up for pensioners, pregnant ladies on the bus/trains! - I was not by any means treated what nowdays is termed as bad parenting, but I suppose as an adult if I really wanted to I could moan and sue my parents for mal treatment.  But on hindsight I grew up in a tough world, have respect for my elders, love my parents for what they have taught me - how to survive in a harsh world - I did not have choices when growing up, and certainly was not heard by adults - yet I have survived this harsh world - Can we say the same for our youngsters now?  Pregnant teens, cant hold down jobs, opting out of schools, etc.,

Love this subject, good psychology stuff 

RE: RE: 6th July, Dr.Crabbere's Children Have Rights Day - 01-04-09 19:53

by: drcrabbere

Your comments are very encouraging. This is a subject that needs the input of all. Like most people you have outlined valid points that does not support "Children's rights" as thought of by most people.

The 1989 Children Act in Britain particularly stressed the Rights of the Child in terms of wishes, feelings and for the first time in Law: lingusitic and cultural needs.

What does the law mean?

This is what we all need to disucss in order for childcare workers and parents to come to some conclusion and implementation.

Yes, many adults say that I had a though upbringing and it has not hurt me; fearing to make their parents look bad, even though they may home with the Lord.

Emotions are personal and individual. When I say "chidren have rights" I mean individual attention for adults to listen to feelings and  become "at one" with the child to offer the best care.

Children have always been looked upon as subordinates. This is wrong. The father of cognitive deveopment- Jon Piaget said that children are not intellectually inferior to adults; they just have different mental rules for thinking at each stage of development. - think- you were once a child!

I do not mean, freedom to do what they want because they are not mature enough to make decisons for themselves. I mean "rights" to express feelings, "rights" to have guidance in  understanding  those feelings and "rights" to feel supported in having those feelings met in an individual way.

Yes, this is good stuff. All the best.

by: kaz (the first one!)

Article in The Mail (I think) today blaming TV in children's bedrooms for lack of respect and bad behaviour in children. The two main points are that children no longer spend time with adults in the house, choosing to eat and spend time on from of the tv in their room and the fact that most parents do not monitor what their children are watching - examples given were Little Britain and Catherine Tate. Most adults know this is comical humoour, children see it as role modelling. 

RE: RE: 6th July, Dr.Crabbere's Children Have Rights Day - 01-04-09 20:08

by: drcrabbere

Excellent; this is the kind of support the children need.

I feel that "child development" should be on the curriculum at secondary schools with communicaiton skills and training in assertiveness.

This would give young adults the tools that is needed raise children who would become good citizens and at the same time practise better parenting in future generations because the "rights of the child" would be encouraged in a way that offers self value to all.

AND WE WOULD HAVE A BETTER WORLD; INDEED.

by: Karine

I agree children should have rights to express their feelings with adults who have empathy with the child and listen to what they are saying.  But all too frequently at the moment I am seeing a turn in the way adults are treated by young adults who have been heard through their childhood.  Some have become quite selfish, vocal and unable to listen to others opinions and advice.  Not that I want to liken children to animals, but when you have a puppy you train it to sit, listen, come back so that they do not get into any danger,  I am afraid for the children of our times, who do not seem to have had good adult input to teach them the basics in life.  Just yesterday I gave up my seat for someone of the older generation, and a teenage boy laughed his head off and commented he would not move for anyone as he had paid for his seat. -

I agree that children need a voice, you use the term subordinate - throughout life we are being told that we are all equal, yet when it comes to work life - we are not, there is always someone in charge whom we need to listen to and obey - we also give children many choices now, which can sometimes confuse them and hinder direction.  Life in general means that their is always someone in charge - I am a subordinate at work - but it does not make me less of a person, I know when I should speak out at work, and when I need to hold my tongue due to respect for my boss.  Everyone, including a child is a subordinate at sometime.  It is just terminology and can be turned into a positive, rather than a negative piece of terminology.

Self Value has become the main highlight and aim of the early years practitioner for the sake of the child, but as  a practitioner I will teach that it is also essential to value those around you, otherwise it will be a lonely hostile world for that child who may become self obsessed and self- centrered - is that not what is happening to our children today in some instances?

Interesting debate!

by: drcrabbere

Millie, I agree with quite a few points in your comments.

I would like to take you up on the point of self-esteem.

Many people do equate self-esteem with ego/confidence.

My understanding is:

If a child is raised/taught by adults who helped him/her to build a high self-esteem that, that child would automatically do the same for others as they grow up. Hence, we would have a better world in every new generation.

Quote: "Children live what they learn." Anonymous.

May I add: ... and they learn to respond to what they are taught; especially by example, both negative and positives.

I think that  if a child is forced into developing high self-esteem, she/he evtntually develops false confidence and is likely to become a bully because of a misunderstanding in selv-value.

by: Karine

Dr Crabtree

I agree that children learn to respond to what they are taught, at the moment we are listening to children which is fantastic.  But my concern is that it has gone too far, particularly in ensuring each child is given choices - nearly all the time within our early years settings, primary school and colleges.  The reality is often quite stark when they hit the real world and discover that when they work, they have a boss who often calls the shots and their often is no choice - but to do what they have been told.

We are seeing the results of children who have been given so much choice they believe the world owes them.  I am saddened by the distructiveness that children are now causing, some as young as 10 and 11 year olds.  These are the children who have been bought up with the ethos of of the Mosaic approach (Every child has a voice and should be heard and given choice and tools to do so effectively to support them through life). 

Tabloids, media is full of children who no longer can respond to a simple instruction, they do not listen to adults as they believe they are on equal par and do not need to show respect - as they are their own person and no one can tell them what to do.

Dont get me wrong - I want children to be heard, but equally I want children to know that their is a pecking order of authority, that elders should continue to be respected and listened to as well - in essence to ensure their safety and wellbeing and to support them into growing into responsible adults to take this world forward.

by: Mandy

Well said Millie

by: drcrabbere

Millie,

When I say "children have rights" almost everyone jump to the wrong cunclusion - by assuming my thoughts.

I am talking about the 1989 Children Act.  Rights to having children's feelings heard and their needs met. I am talking about Child Development! not allowing them to continue with anti-social behaviour.

If the needs of children are met "as in stage and age of development" they would naturally NOT do all the negative things that Millie mentioned.

Children would not be destructive if the are allowed to develop in stages as theorized by Jean Piaget.

When children are bored/frustrated they would do the things that many people detest them for. We all did it!!!!! remember?

by: kaz (the first one!)

yes you did and I bet you were punished for it! I bet you learnt very quickly that negative behaviour is in fact your fault and that only you can change it?

We have developed such a soft attitude to children's behaviour that they continue to push the boundaries until they are eventually causing damage/hurting people (I'm not just talking about small children here!)

Some schools have to exclude children because of their behaviour, so the child stays at home for a week, playing x-box, roaming the streets alone and generally having a better time that their peers stuck in school. 

One of my local schools is no longer excluding at the drop of a hat but introducing  'community service' where the normally excluded child has to litter pick the field, assist teachers after school and help the cleaners at lunchtimes.

by: Karine

Thanks Mandy/Kaz

I understand where Dr. Crabtree is coming from and realise that she is talking about the 1989 Children's Act, Every Child Matters, UN Conventions on the Rights of the Child etc., etc.,  Each of those over the year has ensured practitioners effectively allow a child to be heard and this has been implemented within many Early Years settings and schools.  However, home life is another matter.  Parents are not taught or offered tools to be able to deal with behavioural situations.  As the children get older they find that they really do not have too many choices - what they have previously been led to believe.  The tools the children need to have a better life are not their - being given to them on a plate.  They have to learn to listen themselves - become responsible and sometimes learn that life does not offer them everything that they are asking for.........  Its great to give children a voice and have empathy - but at the end of the day where do you think Dr. Crabtree this country (and others) have gone wrong?  We have listened over the past 5-10 years to our children and given them a voice.  Older children are asking for the government to put on more activities for the 10-18 year olds, to get them off the street, but nothing has materialised for this age group (just the under 5's) - it stops for children after this- what type of reward are we and the children now reaping?

The problem is the government have dictated this so much that both parents and practitioners are afraid to sometimes put a stop on the out of control children, for fear of being reported as being heavy handed and this does not mean through corporal punishment.

How do you think those 10/11 year old boys who recently knifed a little boy were listened to? - Children are no longer taught boundaries, respect in the way we were once taught.  I had a strict upbringing, I was not always listened to, but what I heard constantly from my elders was, respect, do as you are told and as I say and not to question what I am asking (often adults always knew best!).

I ask again - now we have listened to our children over the past 5-10 years, what are we not listening to for our children - or are we not hearing what they are saying - just seeing the evidence of what they have learnt?  Do you remember the book "Lord of the Flies" ?

by: kaz (the first one!)

I think the children are saying 'please give us some boundaries!'

RE: RE: 6th July, Dr.Crabbere's Children Have Rights Day - 25-06-09 19:13

by: drcrabbere

CORRECT!  - BOUNDARIES!

Boundaries set children up for an excellent emotional/social development and IF adults do this with love and respect the children would not develop behaviour difficulties and would return love and respect to all.

There would be no room for children to be subordinate or to be ill-mannered because there would be no bitterness.

An enjoyable debate - Millie and Kaz.... all the best.

by: mickey

GOD SAKE, IS THIS FORUM GONE OVER TO CHRISTIAN GOD TYPE PREACHING, AMEN BROTHER,

drcrabbere, i think you have missed you mission in life. please try hooking up with a US god channel. AMEN TO THAT

can you raise the Dead 'Brother"

lets get this right Brother, Every child in the UK have rights, thats unless you have been preaching rubbish on mars.

What the hell, As a church prodium got to do with children, Unless you have been speaking with David Curresh.

VERY GOOD , I SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, ON YOU WASTE OF POST, POST

Dr crabbere's have rights Day, Ummmmm from your Post i take it your a born again idiot 'Amen" Take it to a local street near you, with a amp and a cheap 10w speaker...

I'm a idiot, even i would post such pants as this.....hey no doubt you run a born again church group....AMEN

This forum/s is for Nursery Nurses , NOT People that Preach for there own web site/s God sake (NO pun)

Make a child feel valued, Do me a favour, Welcome to the UK Dr preacher, Take this crap back to the US, What do you think Nursery Staff Do from Day to Day, I have never read a post on these forums so abusive, More than this crap.....

How dare you come on these forums, To advertise , Such rubbish. And one word of caution, I know how N/W LOVE to edit my posts, BUT if this is edited, I will make a formal complaint to the sites owners....

This post is not racist, in any way, or upsetting, I just think this post is so full of rubbish, This So called Dr just wants to advertise his/her own site, Terms and Conditions of this site, Does'nt allow this, Go Take a look.

Anyway i'm still laughing at this posters 1st post, I have'nt heard or read so much fun since, Watching Lassie......

God Bless Lassie, Amen to Lassie AMEN

by: Maestro

Mickey I think you may have misread the entire first post! The post is at celebrating the fact that children DO have rights. The use of the political/church podium is an example of how far the inconsistancy of people believing what these rights are (I think), whether it is at home or in parliament/church.

Dr Crabbere has not, that I can see, said that the UK does not love their children, or that staff are uncaring. If someone can point this out then I would be grateful. She is merely trying to celebrate those who do and inform those who do not.

You have jumped the gun way too far Mickey! Your post is offensive and abusive. If there is a breach of the Terms and Conditions there is a proper way to go about things. Whilst your opinions are welcomed there is a far more diplomatical approach to be taken. It makes for a far better discussion and debate and keeps the boards friendly.

by: mickey

WHOOPS

by: drcrabbere

Thank you, Maestro.

Mickey, why are you so angry?

by: drcrabbere

To Mickey

I am British, raised 2 children to age 21, worked for Lewisham Borough Early Years for 9  years, Lambeth I year, Bromley 1 year. Then I moved to America. My philosophy of adequate childcare is almost impossible but perfect; because I was once a child...

Many people are challenged by my concepts BUT I know it is correct!

Thanks again Maestro; I know that although people get angry that deep inside their heart they know that I am correct.

My concepts have changed the face of America's Early Childcare System and many children (not kids) are much, much happier because adults are becoming more aware of the stages of child development.

My website celebrates my life; I am confident of who I am and what I want.

I do not mean to accuse anyone I just love to share my knowledge.

Be sitll Mickey; you are loved.

by: mickey

sORRY TO SAY IT , bUT IN YOUR 1ST REPLY AND I MAY HAVE BEEN OVER HARSH IN MY REPLY, tO WHICH I WILL SAY SORRY.

But , By your Text allone, i thought there was a Yank connection.

Like i say though i will back down from my post and say sorry, I was over harsh, And i'm sorry, of course you have a right to say what you wish to say.... But i must point out, I'm not so much a church person, Saying that i strongly believe in life after death, And as such i do attend Spiritual Church/s in the west Midz.

Lots of Love to you and yours my friend,  Again , Sorry for being Harsh with you.....

by: drcrabbere

Dear Blog Friend Mickey,

Your apology is accepted.

If you have a facebook account I would like to be your friend; keyword EstherEdnaCrabbere on facebook to find me. I have lived in America for 12 years- published a book called "American fudge. Would like to send you a complimentary copy; especially if you are in the childcare profession. Take care.

by: Maestro

Awwww you two!! Get a room!!

RE: RE: 6th July, Dr.Crabbere's Children Have Rights Day - 28-06-09 23:22

by: drcrabbere

You are sick.

by: drcrabbere

The internet is a marvelous method of communication; I am glad that I am fairly well-adjusted, to enjoy sharing ideas even if some experiences are not so good.

by: mickey

Sick. What have i said this time lol

by: Maestro

Think she might be referring to my "Awwww you two!! Get a room!!" lol

by: mickey

Thanks Maestro, get a room , i have enough problems finding my own bed, let allone, Oh never mind....Dr i will look for you on facebook

by: mickey

Maestro , How Naughty are you.... Naughty man....can't help it if i like all thing spooky, Spirits n stuff.

by: mickey

just found you on facebook, so i dropped you both a quick mail